Trainwreck is one of my favorite terms.  You know its horrible and you are appalled that you are watching it, but you can’t look away – that’s a trainwreck.

Paris Hilton is a good example of trainwreck.  I don’t really care about some crazy heiress, but I just can’t look away.  I’m pretty sure that is somehow the case with much of America.

CNN has plasted this article:  Paris Hilton sentenced to 45 days in jail as the home page feature with a big picture for the last six hours or so and I, of course, eventually had to read it.  It made me laugh.  What a broken family.  What delusional lawyers.  Some of the shit these people say is disturbing.  Let me highlight the facts (plucked from the article.

The facts:

• September 7, 2006:  Arrested for reckless driving.  Police report she appeared intoxicated and failed a field sobriety test.  She had 0.08 blood alcohol, which is against the law (to be fair, I think this is on the nose for the level that is illegal…. and she probably has a really high tolerance LOL.)
• January 2007 (no specific date in the article):  She pleads no contest and gets some fines, alcohol education, and 36 months of probation.  It doesn’t say it in the article, but it appears her license was suspended at this time.
• January 15, 2007 (after the no contest):  She is pulled over, informed she is driving on a suspended license, singens some that acknowledging she was not to drive.
• February 27, 2007:  She is pull over again because she is speeding with no headlights on.  (Nice!)
• As of April 17, 2007:  She has not enrolled in the alcohol education program she was required to enroll in as of February 12.
• Today (May 4):  She shows up ten minutes late for her court appearance.

During the hearing (all quotes are from the CNN article):

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton’s mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton then blurted out: “May I have your autograph?”

That cracks me up.   As I’m reading this I’m thinking, “At least her mom knows she’s out of control and needs some sense knocked into her.”  But alas, the indignation of it all:

When a reporter asked what she thought of the judge’s decision, a visibly angry Kathy Hilton responded: “What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke.”

Yes!  Ms. Hilton it is a joke!  If anyone else had gotten pulled over (for speeding with their lights off) on a suspended license after a DUI.  Oh wait, I mean pulled over twice.  And ignored the court by not going to the required alcohol education and further taunted the court by showing up late….. well I think they would have gotten much worse punishment all around.  Paris is out of control, everyone who reads the news knows it, and now she knows she is not above the law.

But it gets worse.  Her lawyer says:

Defense attorney Howard Weitzman said he would appeal.

“I’m shocked, I’m surprised and really disheartened in the system that I’ve worked in for close to 40 years,” Weitzman said.

He said the sentence was “uncalled for, inappropriate and bordered on the ludicrous.”

Let’s address these one at a time:

• Appeal.  Oh good let’s waste more taxpayer money!  WTF is he appealing on?  “Your honor my client is rich, thinks she can ignore the court, and can throw a lot of money at this.  On those ground’s I would like to appeal.”
• Wow 40 years as a lawyer and this disheartens him?   Maybe he hasn’t seen the chonology of this in bullet format for easy digestion.  WTF is up with this guy, he needs to get a grip or maybe he’s so disheartened he’ll resign.  We can only hope.
• OMG I don’t even know what to say on the last one.  45 days in jail for a reckless driving (DUI), two driving on a suspended license, ignoring court orders, showing up late, etc.  If anyone else had done that they’d be in jail a lot longer.

Oh and to cap it all of he says:

“I think she’s singled out because of who she is,” Weitzman said.

Yeah for special treatment! 

Wow, anyway she needs better lawyers that say things like:  “YOU CAN’T DRIVE UNTIL THE SUSPENSION IS UP!” and sign her up and force her to go the court order alcohol education program.  I mean she’s freaking super rich, how hard is it to get a freaking driver!

Gah.

/rant